The Importance of Being Insane

Early this morning I woke up with explosive mind. It began with internal iching I felt far below the skin. I so didn't like this feeling because I felt helpless. Nothing I couldn't do about it, but it felt so uncomfortable! I tried to sit and read a book, but didn't work. I was tired and grumpy. Tried to lie down again. Restless. Sat again in my bed. Just sat. Then I felt the sadness spreading through my body. Then the anger steaming through. Anger I addressed to those who even didn't really know me - let alone knew that I put the blame on them. I tried to calm myself down to no success. So I just let it out. Hit the bed, hard and fast. Screaming through the pillow - which created those weak squeeky sound - but unbelievably relieving. Then, the storm subsided, and I felt asleep - soundly - till the alarm woke me up. And hatred no more. Blaming no more. I'm so thankful. Today is beautiful, and we did one good deed to the handyman doing our project - giving away something that he wants - we knew it because he asked to pay for it - and we're just giving him. How nice to see his happiness.

Trip to Old Markets

Today we went to Pasar Baru. Found some unbelievably good bargain, which somehow left us thinking, is it really true or it's just us who can't differentiate the good and bad ones. We thought the cheap one is much more nicer than the one with twentyfold the price! It's funny that we become a victim of the belief - the more expensive it is, the better. Anyway, it's nice to go there - everything is different - the people, the ambience, the messiness ... it's like going back to 20 years ago when Pasar Baru was the main shopping destination for Jakarta people. It doesn't look different. I remember my aunties usually went there every Saturday after work and would came home with loads of shopping. I sometimes came along - as a shy girl I almost never dared to ask for anything, but they usually understood and got me what I want. I loved to go to this bookstore - Tropens? - to buy Lima Sekawan series and some cute stationaries (I once bought a pencil case with beachfront scenery, and a bikini hanging on the fence - but when I bought it to school my friends were ashamed to look at it).... Eating crepes with whipped creams.....Fried bananas and pineapple with chicken in Red Rooster.... You can't imagine how sad I was when Red Rooster and the crepes shop were closed - until now I think it's unreasonable since the places were always packed with people. On weekdays, it became a luxury to eat at Red Rooster because the traffic jam was always awful. So eating there meant sacrifice from my dad to bear the traffic. And we sometimes had to listen to his grumbling for the price of it.

Another place I loved to go is Tropic (is it the rignt name?) - to have avocado juice with vannila ice cream. It's the only survivor that still lasts up to now. I went there not long ago, but the juice didn't taste as wonderful as it was 20 years ago... Observing the people coming in, I conclued that it still had some loyal customers - which is a good thing. Some place are worth to survive - for the sake of memories they bear...

Posture

Been slouching too much these days. Need realigning. The excersice I found in O Mag is great to follow - simple, concise, but I think it's effective (need some time to prove though - we'll see)