It's been twice I didn't keep up to my promise of blogging schedule. Well this time, no more promises. I let go of regular blogging, and will write here and there as it feels right.

Lots of things happened. Which I don't know it is for better or for worse. Retrospectively, it should be better off. The problem is I've been losing my inner peace sometimes. The anchor has losened and at times I'm drowned in pessimism, worries, fear, anger, scepticism, and those negativity that draw me to hell.

There are good times - plenty of them - and I can feel the happiness immersing to every cells of my body, when I feel all is perfect, beautiful, and enlightened. But comes also the time when I'm spiralling in my own doubts, helplessness, feeling that I haven't done enough dharma for those around me, let alone the universe. That I still cannot have enough tolerance, for the different faces and interiors of people, which in turn make me upset. That I still focus on myself too much. That I've let the devil of laziness drag me down.

Each time, I promise to rekindle the light within - and many times, I give in to the excuses and fatigue. But now, I will try harder. I will push myself. I will expose myself to the light and keep it inside me for good. And I will let others to see the light in me, as I seek to see the light in others.